I read a blog entry that inspired me to write a story. (Side note: you should really follow Felicia on twitter. She’s pretty cool.) So, in an effort to help me cope with change and for you to get to know me…
Once upon a time there was a girl. When she was older she wanted to be a stay at home mom. (Yes feminism gave us the right to choose and she chose to be a stay at home mom. No judgement calls here.) She met a boy whom she liked a lot, and he told her he was diabetic. She thought he was an idiot for thinking there was a possibility that she wouldn’t want to date him because of a little ‘problem’. What should have clued her in to run as far away as possible should have been the fact he worked front line staff in social services – really low wage job. (JOKE…..sorta).
The boy and girl got married. They couldn’t afford much, but they had a good time. They expected a baby and hopes for the future. Then sadly a really bad thing happened..their first pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth. It sucked. Alot.
Happily, the imp was born after and is currently a 11year girl going on 25. The imp keeps the girl and boy on their toes.
Both continued to work, to save, to try and have a good life. It was always in the back of the girls mind that she wanted to be at home but she knew that in life, sometimes you don’t get what you want. She endured.
When the boy turned 36, diabetes totally screwed up their lives. The boy had been working his dream job, with a little (but not by much) better pay, when his eyesight starting going funny. A trip to the doctor confirmed the his retinas were being pulled, and he would have to stop working and go on disability………………………the girl started hyperventilating as she only had one year of college and worked administrative jobs. She was only 30. She endured.
While the girl really wanted to go to university because she knew she could get a better job, she couldn’t afford that. She went back to college and received her diploma social service worker. It was really hard finding jobs, and the money was only marginally better then working administration.
Then the boy’s heart went. He was resuscitated three times. He was in ICU two times for being septic. His eye sight went even worse. This was in the span of a year. The girl started wondering if 8 hours of sleep was truly needed to function properly. Debt began to be to much. But they endured.
Time went by. The boy is 42 and the girl is 36. Life is still difficult but there are good times and good friends.
The boy sometimes slips into hypoglycemia where the girl must call 911 because he is unresponsive. (The doctors are trying to figure it out). The imp once found the boy, which made the girl cry really hard.
Then the boy slipped further into depression. It was very difficult in the house with emotions running everywhere. Hospital visits, doctors visits… the girl laughed when people mentioned they were going to the gym. Most seemed to be stay at home moms with spouses who had very good jobs. Even with two years as a Mental Health Coordinator, the girl understood what was going on, however it’s different when it’s family. Sadly that contract, (because everything is contract now), finished and the girl had to find yet another job.
The girl is working now, with seniors as an activity coordinator, however with the distance it’s not a lot of money. The hours suck, and she doesn’t see the imp alot. She thinks back to when she just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. The money is just not coming in and there is no other money to invest in her own business.
Due to that, and other reasons which can’t be listed on the internet (because the internet is forever and the girl doesn’t have any money if someone sues ) , the boy and girl decided to move. The girls parents live in a small town in Saskatchewan. They invited the tiny family to live with them for a bit to help them deal with life. The girl is looking forward to healing spiritually……and quite possibly physically (she needs to lose weight from stress eating) however she really likes chocolate.
They have always wanted to live in BC, so this may be the kick in the pants they needed to get there. Plus the fact it’s f*cken cold in Saskatchewan, the girl has no intention of doing more then 2 winters there.
The girl feels horrible about uprooting the imp. She is hoping that not a lot of therapy is needed when the imp is older. She hopes she finds a better job, (she has experience and stuff – a lot of friends are in the same boat – the jobs or connections really are just not there) and is looking forward to spending time with the family.
And that’s her story. Spouse – mom – main bread winner (you can laugh – she does when she thinks about it) – mental health advocate for families living with it ………and dreamer and filled with hope that walking around that corner will be a little bit easier.