Yesterday evening the imp and I went for our walk around the neighbourhood. Came back to a locked door. My father, not knowing the sidekick was inside listening to music – on his headphones (le sigh…you see where this is going don’t you?), locked the door when he left. The imp and I were less than impressed.
We both had our cell phones on us. Mine to calculate how many kilometers we went (1.94 btw). Hers to blare One Direction songs for the neighbourhoods enjoyment. What we didn’t have is the key to get back into the house.
We phoned the sidekick …incessantly…he didn’t pick up. Not to self: must speak to side kick about about decibels and hearing impairments.
The imp asked for permission to smash down the door. I graciously gave it to her.
We then cased the joint for easy access points.
We were started to panic as Sister Wives was due to start. (Yes, I am bringing up a reality tv fan. You like what you like!! Our favourite is Amazing Race Canada right now!! We were both saddened when Honey Boo Boo finished. Say what you want, but we can all learn from Mama June. She can pay for her kids braces and education – most of us can’t).
Even though I had anxiety about missing the Sister Wives debate, (Darn it..PVR ALL SHOWS in case of emergencies), this showed me our locks are pretty good. Yay us!! Security systems are lovely as well!!
The next door neighbour (NDN) came home at this point and looked at us in bewilderment.
Me: House repairs.
Me: The sidekick is listening to headphones. We’re seeing how long it takes him to figure out we’re missing.
NDN: Oh..well if you need anything let me know. If you need the washroom or something.
Me: Thank you 🙂
There was no comment as the imp went by with the hammer air testing it. I like our neighbour. I’m hoping she didn’t notice that one.
We gave up. We figured out we were bad buglars.
I called my dad.
Dad: What’s a matter?
Me: We’re locked out of the house.
Dad: I’m just a few blocks away – I’ll be there in a few minutes.
That’s what I like about dad’s. No questions. No ‘why would you do something that?’. No ‘don’t you have a spare key somewhere?’. No ‘why did you dig to China when you were five in the neighbours yard? You know it cost me $50 to buy dirt and fix all that?’.
So we waited.
We walked in the house and the sidekick (SK) took off his headphones.
SK: Hey, how was your walk?
Me: Well, we learned we’re horrible burglars. She has to go university cuz she has nothing to fall back on. I’d say it went alright.
Oh reality tv show people – we’re so much more entertaining then some of your shows like Princesses: Long Island. We’re real and in need of the money too.
Moral of the story: Exercise leads to crime.