Thursday marks 15 years married for the sidekick and I. 18 years we’ve been together. We’ve pulled off some serious stuff, but I am totally flamboozled that we managed to pull this one off 🙂
My brother once said to me, “You guys have gone through what most couple don’t go through in a lifetime. And yet you’re still together. How? Why?”.
My answer, “We’re lazy. And divorce costs to much. We’re poor.”
Kidding aside – we’ve lost a child, experienced financial hardships, the sidekicks loss of sight and job, we’ve experienced quintuple by-passes and writing essays by a hospital bed, ICU stays, resuscitation, and mental health, needing time off but buying food is lovely so you work regardless, moving provinces to survive (so homesick) and the list it goes on. We joke that when we said our vows, for better or for worse meant that they should balance out – not have all the bad happen at once … in a row…for 15 years… 🙂 I try to keep in mind that there are couples out there who are going through way worse then what we have.
A friend asked a few years ago what I would say to couples. So, without further adieu so many years later here are my three pieces of advice to weather the pathways of marriage.
Humour – without humour things are to serious. Life is so busy to weigh yourself down with the stress and depression it can bring. Humour helps you enjoy and cope with anything. Unless you are in couples therapy … then the joke about your spouse being deadweight isn’t funny anymore and it can be subpoenaed in a court of law.
Observe – look to couples who you are around. Take what you don’t like – and don’t do it. The rest you make up as you go along. Come to think of it, I think I parent the same way too.
Faith – without faith we have nothing to believe and without belief we have nothing to go on. I have faith that even though I have no clue what’s happening in our lives, that it will get better. I have faith in us, even when I think 15 years feels like 500. I have faith in God, even though I’m yelling and he’s not paying attention. I have faith it’ll work out. That faith gives me hope.
Happy Anniversary Sidekick 🙂 Hallmark says 15 years the traditional gift is crystal but I can’t afford that. Modern says it’s a watch, so I got you a rock to put in the backyard to use as a sundial 🙂 Nothing but the best!!